"The healing of Me"

Such a Beautiful

Little Face

Liza 

My Bright Shinning Star

Shinning down from Heaven

Many would say you are an Angel

I know Heaven is your home

And

You are not alone

One Day my sweet child

I will be where you are

Until that time

I will continue 

To Live

And

Love

Those left on this earth

That need a Mother's Heart

I look forward

To seeing you again

Until that time

You will be

Forever in my Heart

It's been 31 years Today

There is no distance 

Time or space

That can replace

Our time together

God Truly

Heals a broken heart

Praise

Rises from

My heart

Because I Know

Jesus

Holds you now

When we walk with the Lord

In the Light of His word

What a Glory He sheds on our way!

While we do His good will

He abides with us still

And with all who will 

Trust and Obey 

Note 12/21/2012 Another year comes to pass .. Adding another inspiration .. and thoughts to the healing of me .. Life is too short to waste .. We have love and life to share.. in a world .. without much time to spare ..this is my journey .. this is my life .. I continue to walk it out daily .. Trusting and Obeying .. My Lord and Savior.. Jesus Christ ..

Life is a journey and we continue to heal a little every year.. but of course there are always new hurts to replace the old.. So what better way to .. remember and move on .. than with a healing tree ..

In case you do not know me.. Dec 21 1981 .. my 21 mth old daughter Liza Nichole .. died .. she was not sick.. there was no sign that this child of mine was soon to die ..

I had my Christmas tree up with all of her presents underneath .. Then Suddenly .. I found myself sitting alone in a hospital waiting room .. wondering what was happening.. 5 days later she was gone .. She was buried Dec 23rd .. I gave the presents under the tree to the Church.. and followed my family out of town.. because I knew she would not want me to be sad .. although my heart was hurting so bad.. I pushed forward with my life .. Remembering the Joy she brought into my life ...


My life did go on .. I re-married .. a childhood friend and had two beautiful children .. Christmas .. always had it sad moments .. but life goes on .. And as long as I had my children and a family.. I would be ok ..

This is the Story of the healing of me .....

In 2003 my first Christmas with my new husband .. Which should have been a really happy time .. I realized we were Empty Nester's .. it hit me hard .. I could not bear to put up a Christmas tree.. so I put up a Healing Tree .. just for me.. I put it in what I called my healing room .. All decorated pink and white.. When I entered there.. I was able to be who I needed to be.. and feel free.. to think about all the woulda, coulda, shoulda's .. It really did help.. I searched for my lost Joy... Wondering LisaWho ... and discovered... some things about myself .. deep rooted .. hurts.. that are very seldom.. let out of the box .. December just happens to be a time.. I take the box.. down off the shelf.. go through the hurts... trying to understand all the pains of the past .. It is really healthy to look at your life.. with a spiritual light ... having given it all to Jesus .. long ago .. the old wounds have been healed.. but always there seems to be new hurts, and disappointments from the current year .. It is my time.. to reflect.. and understand.. making sure all is forgiven.. Understanding.. why Jesus came in the first place.. Yes.. as a baby.. at first.. but he did grown to be a man.. who took all of my hurts and disappointments.. with him to the grave .. And rose with new life.. and promised that new life for me too .. And so .. eventually I put my past .. filled with hurt and regrets.. back neatly on the shelf with a pretty bow on it.. back on the shelf.. in my "Closet of Life" ... until the next year .. And walk on healed .. to another year.. holding the key of victory ..

It is Jesus spreading His love over me.. Oh.. without Him how lost I would be...

The gift my Stacey gave me that year.. was an emerald cut past, present, and future.. ring.. We would face Tomorrow... together ...

Tomorrow

None of us are promised tomorrow

But we can face .. each day..

Without sorrow of situations

That may happen tomorrow ..

Life needs to be lived

And not kept in a box

Although some moments

We tend to relive

Are safely kept under lock

Sorrow comes to us all one day

But it comes to pass

And not to stay

All of my sorrows

Have made me stronger

for a better tomorrow

Love LisaMe!

Note to self: I am not sad .. these are just the refection of me ..
Thank you Tois Taylor .. for helping me to clean out my closet .. and arrange my life.. neatly on the shelf.. allowing myself .. time to deal with life issues .. and then put them back neatly on the shelf .. But just like all closets.. they need to be cleaned out again .. and again .. Everything taken out .. rearranged and put back .. until the next year .. it needs to be cleaned again... so do not be afraid.. to tackle the problems of life.. take them one at a time.. using lots of prayer.. as you allow the Holy Spirit to help you to make your changes ..
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)


Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The healing of me .. Part 2 .. December 21st

Some of this was written.. as a tribute on Liza's birthday this past year.. I sent out an email card to all of my family and friends .. just wanting them to remember.. my daughter .. Reflections of the past.. may be painful.. but we learn from our past.. and we move on.. we are not meant to live in our past or in there mistakes our hurts .. Liza was a "Joy" in my life... with lots of happy memories.. and yes.. sad ones too.. Heart breaking ones.. My heart did not break.. but was torn.. but God mended me.. repairing my heart.. so that I could live to give... to any and all who would be willing to hear..

So .. If you read this Please do not be sad .. Jesus died too .. and He left us with a promise of eternal life. That hope is here for all of us. Reach out to those around you and show them Love today. Life can be very lonely at times for lots of people. You can make a difference in some one's life. God loves you .. His greatest commandment is to love one another.

I re-visited here today.. Remembering 27 years ago.. it all started on Dec 17.. 1981 .. a day much like today.. cold and foggy .. that night we ended up in the emergency room.. by ambulance .. this was before 911 .. How far things have come .. then transported to Ochsner.. I was too young (I was 21) to understand all that was happening.. your life in the hand of man.. But in the next 5 days.. I would come to understand.. that your life.. Was in the hands of God..

Reflections of life some good , some bad, some happy, some sad..

And so I lean not on my own understand but in All my ways acknowledge Him ..
Because of Him my life is/was forever changed

March 4, 1980 .. Returned to heaven .. December 21, 1981

In loving Memory of my ..
Little Liza

You are a "beautiful" memory in my "Garden of Life".

 I released you to God but you will always live in my heart. It is because you lived and died that I have so much love for God in my life. So I remember you with gladness in my heart .. not sadness because I know that even though we have had to be apart .. you have lived within my heart. God has been with us both .. and one day we will meet again .. in Heaven .. Heavens little girl - until we meet again - you are loved and missed .. I will always remember the "Joy" you gave me .. I Love you .. Mom-Me ..


Note: Sunday December 21, 2008 ... I will be at my mother's house.. I believe God has more healing to take place.. in the life of me and my mother .. the distance and the space .. in our relationship .. started 27 years ago .. The hurt in our lives.. hurt those around us.. Love hurts.. there is no way around it .. you must go through it .. I did not even realize that I had these feelings .. but deep within .. it was hidden.. I can release it here ... in my writings.. I have not share this with my Mother .. no need to hurt her heart .. for things she.. too did not understand .... Just daily we must allow God to hold our hand ...

Mother..

I needed you to walk with me ..

I was in a place
Where not many understood..

I felt so all alone..

In my weakness I became strong..

Leaning on God..

But I still needed you ..

I felt like you abandoned me

I am here today
To set this feeling of abandonment
Free

Released to the Lord

For our healing

Your Child LisaMe!

Note to self: Today is 03-03-09 tomorrow is 03-04 .. Liza's Birthday

She would be 29 it is ok.. I am not sad .. I just look to God each day Praising Him.. because He has made a way.. for me to always trust in Him.. Because of her.. my relationship with Him.. became solid .. What will it take.. for you to learn to totally Trust in Him.. If you need my help.. just ask, Love your sister friend LisaMe!

So as I take one day at a time..

Trusting in the Lord
To show me the Way..

I have peace for this day..

Knowing my blessings
Are on the way..

The trials for the day .. have come to pass not to stay..

I am growing from the knowing .. that comes .. with each one..

Because I know it is no secret from the Father or Son ...

I pray that you will learn your lessons too...
Because God has something Special for you!

I write in love.. and in release..
It is what brings my heart to peace.. LisaMe!

Up-Dated Note: 8/22/2010 Shared my blog ..on facebook .. while re-reading and writing about the healing of me.. my healing continues.... We never forget.. but we do not have to live in hurt and torment everyday to remember .. moments of sadness come.. but remember they are here to pass .... not to stay .. letting go of the hurt.. does not mean you are letting go of the one you love ...  that has passed on .. it is just leaving them in the hands of God ..

Remembering my Liza

one more time

one more year..

one more moment

with one more tear

Life is hard but we must keep on moving forward ..

when we stop..

we die

we can cry all we want

but we can not choose

things that happen in our lives

But what we can choose

is to allow God to turn things around

for something good to happen from a tragedy

Jesus Death brought about eternal life for us

We must morn and continue to move on

To a place of healing

Because someone is waiting for you

Just on the other side of your hurt

For you to help them overcome

So today what will you decide

Healing..
or
Allowing the devil to keep
Stealing your life..

with Love .. LisaMe!

Note: Continuing to try put things in order.. this is years of writing ... years of healing ..  today is 11/8/2010

Note: 11/20/2010 Today is day 10~ Healed Heart ..on my journey in my 40 day God's Heart Your Destiny devotion .. Today's Healed Heart begun many years ago .. this is just one more stop along the way .. And something Awesome did happen today .. this morning early my daughter Jamie called to invite me and my husband to come to Thanksgiving .. this is the first time we will be together as a family in over 7 yrs .. since we all married ..

My heart if flooded with emotions .. during this holiday time.. because many miss what real "Love" is ..  Love has a deeper meaning for me (I guess that could be in my on little mind) because I have lost love .. Love is precious to me .. and I love to share it .. deep from within .. from the Spirit of God that lives within ... I know I am not the only person in the world who has lost love .. but for me it gave me a deeper meaning of what Love is .. and wanting to share it with others.. which is not always received ..  Love is free ... it is a Free Gift.. to give and share .. with whom we will .. some will receive it and some will not.. which is their choice .. God is the gift of Love.. True Love.. and It is His Gift that I want to share with others .. Especially those who have no love .. There are many people who live a life feeling that no one loves them .. This is so sad .. Especially when it is so easy to give love to someone .. This year God is birthing something new in my heart .. He is bringing the Ministry forth ... from my heart .. to find a way to bridge that gap in the world .. To share His Love with others.. with children .. who may be living hardships (tootsie pops) and adults who may have become hard hearted with life (heart of stone) ...and whether related  or not ..adults and children need healing .. the bridge will help to heal families.. with broken hearts ... and help them to understand the Love of God .. and the Gift of His son Jesus ... and help them learn how to communicate as a family .. with and through that Love .. And for those with no family.. we can help them to receive the Love of an eternal family .. so that they will never feel lonely .. and alone again.  I believe that is what Love is.. to reach past our own hurts .. to help heal the hearts of others.. I believe that is what Jesus came to the earth for .. to bring us the Ultimate healing with His Love .. He was the bridge.. and still is the bridge... And I am here to continue to walk step by step.. through my faith.. to bring the "Bridge Mix" It is not with mixed feelings.. but a True Mix of teachings, and helps to be sure we reach all who need healing.. All who need love .. We will bring it forth.. from the Word of God .. Scriptures to heal the heart .. to reach into every situation and need .. Knowing God does not want anyone left behind .. because they are lost and can't find their way .. We are to build this bridge from the bottom up .. leading the way .. with Love .. so they can climb .. Using God's love to lead the way .. We are an end time Ministry .. The Lord says the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few... Will you come and join my crew.. will you come with your broken, wounded or healed hearts .. and take a part in helping to bring love to others.. with a candy or two .. Sharing what God's love can do .. I am a little scared as I lead the way .. But I know in my heart .. I must Trust and Obey .. Because it is Christ who is leading my way ...My heart.. becoming more and more healed everyday .. Because it doesn't always happen over night.. but a process of giving and living... through out the course of our lives ...That we experience True Love .. and can find and experience .. happiness in our lives ..

3-4-2011 .. Happy Birthday Liza.. you would have been 31 it is so hard to believe you have been gone so long .. I have peace in my heart .. and so much love.. because of you ..

Me and Liza
At the New Orleans Zoo
One of Life's Precious Moments

Note: 8-6-2012 This morning I woke up dreaming about God's plan for my life .. A healing Ministry too big for me to hold .. I do not feel worthy .. or able to do .. all God has shown me.. it feels too big for Lisa .. but I know it is not too big for LisaMe .. the Me being the Christ in me .. Thank you Lord.. I can not do it without you .. You give me hope, You give me Joy .. it is you who I run to ..

I found my self praying to God .. releasing again... hurts and disappointments .. A phone call with my Mother last night had left me hurt, with feelings of rejections .. I realize it is because of her own insecurities  .. it really has nothing to do me me ..

I woke up early with this note in my facebook .. and felt it so personal .. I felt God was speaking to me .. Helping me to let go of that disappointment, rejection and hurt from that phone call and so...

(I wrote)
You may not always say it out loud ...
Or
Be proud of what it is ....
But
Release it
So it does not
Hold you
Freedom is to
Not
 Let it hold
Your heart
~Goodbye~
 Foolish hurt
That says
I am unloved
~ You are a lie ~
 Jesus loves me
So much

Jesus Loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so ...
Throughout my adult life
I have not only read the bible
But made it a Practice
To study it ..
Learning of it Truths
And
All of the promises in there for Me
Do Not waste another Day
Pick it up

And
Read it Today!
Love, LisaMe!